


kids grow up and move away

by sianas



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, i still dunno how to tag Shit, kuro and suzuya are old buddies fight me she's his first friend, this is a bad fanfic written at 2am while hungry and emotional, this is just friendship angst hours, tw for them being casual morbid bastards and vague mention of vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sianas/pseuds/sianas
Summary: a momentary encounter. a momentary peace. a momentary relapse to days lost.





	kids grow up and move away

**Author's Note:**

> i got a shit ton of feelings and hcs for kurona and juuzou's friendship and no place to dump said feelings so have this mess of a post canon encounter. was partially inspired by kids(reprise) by the midnight.

The rain always dyed Tokyo a nice gray color. Drowned out the noise of so much, the chill of a slight breeze touching one's bones a sensation Kurona both liked and disliked. The chill cleared her mind once or twice, any more and it'd just start freezing her bones. As cold as she was, warm blood still flowed through her body, she wasn't quite the cold-blooded person she acted as.

The rain was also a bit of a blessing as of late. Though much of the beast that Kaneki Ken had transformed into and left like a lizard shedding its skin had been cleaned up, remnants still remained in the nooks and crannies of the city. She'd offered help initially, but now she simply strayed from most of it.

It wasn't her issue if that thick skulled dummy of an older brother had made this mess. And frankly, it'd grown irritating having to work with others, be around others.

So much of herself was stuck in a position a cross between recovery mood and full on depression. A rotten doctor stealing a life that was rightfully _her's_ to take still fresh on her mind, leaving her a husk of aimless lethargy.

So, stuck to her own devices with nothing to do, she watched. Watched the gray clouds fly by, or the rotten flesh occasionally swim by and down the gutter next to the bus stop. Watched as the reflection of a smaller figure approached her own. Already she could feel bile begin to well up in her throat.

“Hello, Kuro-chan.”

What a casual greeting, what a calm and almost friendly smile. Maybe if she ignored it it'd go away. Perhaps she should close her eyes and pretend to be asleep.

Silence welcomed the sudden darkness. Maybe it would work, after all, she hoped for such, no energy in her to entertain the little devil by her side.

“That's cold, as cold as this weather! It's our first private reunion and you don't even greet me?” Ah fuck, it spoke again. In that shrill voice too.

“I don't remember getting any invitation to such an irritating thing.” Avoidance wouldn't work, rarely did it ever, but still, she falsely prayed it would. If Kurona wanted to get out of this soon it was best to entertain him at least a bit.

Opening her eyes she'd look to her side. A perfect face that never seemed to age greeted her with a slight smile, or maybe it was a smirk? The same age as her and yet the same baby face. The doll continued to be.

“Man, you look like shit, Kuro-chan.”

“And you look like some wannabe clown.”

A half-hearted venomous exchange, the only way they both knew how to interact with one another. It hadn't always been that way though. Once upon a time, it'd have been more friendly, less suffocating. An offer to do one thing or another, or a sharp comment to stop squishing bugs least you get your hands all dirty with insect guts.

“I heard. About what happened to Dr. Kanou.” An odd time to drop his overly friendly tone, was he expecting her to hold a conversation with him? About the man who manipulated and ruined her and her sister's lives forever? Seriously?

“If you came to offer your head in his place, I'd have preferred it if it'd been a pre done delivery than doing it myself.” Please, go away. This wasn't the appropriate time to speak of that event, and this most certainly wasn't the right person to speak of it with. This was only pouring more salt in a far too open wound. Soon the puss would start to sizzle.

“You know I can't do that. And I doubt you'd want it anyway, it's ‘more skull than brains’, remember? I doubt you'd eat bones, even if it were to be used for bread.”

More skull than brains.

A surprisingly amused half grin, she'd laugh if she had it in her. He really was just gonna act as if they were old friends, bring up terms she'd use as means of mock offense. Things she'd forcibly forgotten and left behind.

“How can you be like this? Be so casual. Speak with me like I'm still your friend. Like I didn't abandon you without a word and tossed any friendship we might've shared in the trash.” An overwhelming emotional burst had crept up on her, allowing a usually monotonous voice to well with a rare sense of life. A painful to look at glare like smile had broken through, even the reflection of it in the murky rainwater couldn't hide the ugly emotion she bared.

All he did was a smile. Look at her with a grin, like he'd just gotten the reaction he wanted. It irked her as much as it infuriated her. Something in it made the bile in her throat increase. It sickened her.

“It might be hard to believe Kuro-chan, but _I_ never really threw our friendship away, not as you did anyways. I just chose to see you as Kuro, the half ghoul.”

A snarl, hair whipping about as she looked the direction opposite of him.

“What do you see me as now, then?”

A pause, a low hum as he seemed to think. His humming was giving her a headache.

“I don't really know. The worlds changed so much now it seems, I'm not sure who you are anymore. That's why I sought you out. To ask you, who are you?”

 

It was her turn to go silent. Both from thought and how his brain worked in such an annoying way.

It wasn't easy, to think of who she was, not anymore at least. Suzuya was right when he said things had changed so much. Things had changed too much. Any key she had to any old identity was gone. So much of her past self was gone. The past she desired to live in again may as well have been a dream of another life in some alternate world.

“I...I don't know. I don't know who I am anymore. The one thing I lived for is gone, so just who is it that inhabits this body now?” Words spilled out of her mouth like the tears of a child who just scraped a knee, bawling its eyes out till someone came to console it. And it was done with full self-awareness. She spoke the words so freely yet she only imagined herself sewing her own mouth shut, screaming out questions of why she'd say such a thing in front of someone, be it honest or not. Such thoughts were supposed to be known only to her.

He wasn't some ally she could be open with, speak of her fears and anxieties with so easily. Not any more

“Right now, you look like Kurona, more than ever before.”

A silent gasp escaped her, she hadn't expected him to actually answer that. Let alone so truthful sounding.

Things fell silent once again. The only noises the sound of falling rain, the few voices and echoes of life in this still messy crook of the city. She hadn't counted the seconds exactly, but she was somewhat certain they'd both stayed silent for almost two minutes. Then she snapped.

Not a bad snap per se, but rather laughter that seemed to startle Suzuya if his sudden, surprised 'Kuro-chan?’ was any indication.

Really, Kurona couldn't help but laugh, it was the only reaction that came to mind. The only thing she could do, as the other was an alternative she'd rather die holding in than do.

“Even all these years later, you rarely change, both on the outside and inside that brainless, thick skull of yours. You truly are something, Suzuya-kun.” Her laugh continued to bellow as she spoke, head turning back towards him, a smile on her face.

“So you _can_ still smile.”

“Ah, I can. Been a long time, but I don't seem to have forgotten it completely. How strained does it look?”

“Hmm, a bit crooked but...yup! It's the same smile I remember. Though, the Kurona I remember didn't have such intense eye bags.”

“You're horrible. I was hoping they were the same, that you wouldn't pay so much attention.”

“Well, that's a bit hard when you look like a raccoon.”

Expressions and terms changed, speech on either side shifting to a more even familiarity. Even the tension went from stifling to something more comfortable. An unspoken decision and agreement to play out the roles of old friends encountering each other for the first time since high school.

A momentary peace neither had felt in a long time and would likely never attain with many others.

All momentary lapses have to end though.

 

A call from his boss and a cat to feed from her. Both walking in opposite directions. But one second pauses to look back, see if the other is there, see if what just transpired was real and not a hallucination.

A smile and wave from him proved it wasn't. A glint of his red eyes and she felt her mouth go agar. That irked feeling came back and with it the bile. Waiting for him to turn his gaze she'd b line for the nearest alley, almost falling to her knees as the bile left her finally.

The reason she felt so irked by him when he smiled at her was simple. It was a sight so familiar the reason should've been more obvious to her.

He bared the same unspoken emotions she all but ignored. A feeling of loss any time you think of or see a friend you can't help but care for, no matter how far apart or how long your lives have gone on without the other. A simple longing for people you'll likely never see again.


End file.
